


A Silent Scream is Always the Loudest

by HisaHiru



Series: Silent Scream [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Bromance, Bucky Barnes Recovering, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Abuse, Steve's hiding something, Thor being a good bro, You've been warned, a dark fic, maybe not really, not a happy fic, possible trigger, surprise in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-04-19
Packaged: 2018-03-24 16:47:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3776032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HisaHiru/pseuds/HisaHiru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It’s not that simple…” Steve chewed on his lower lip and twisted the stay string of his sweater around his finger. “I don’t want to make him worried. Bucky is struggling with his own problem right now and I can’t… I can’t burden him with mine.”</p><p> </p><p>Thor knew something was wrong with his captain, but with Steve refused to cooperate and tell him the truth... There was little he could do. At least Bucky Barnes was here, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Silent Scream is Always the Loudest

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is the second fic I post on AO3... Probably won't be the last (I hope so)  
> I did this to take a little break from another story I'm working on; a much longer one than this-... a multi-chapter one. I hope I could post it here soon.
> 
> Anyway, a special thanks to my friend, Blanchezy (You'll always be the first to read any of my writing, believe it-... Though most of them gonna be sucks, you've been warned)  
> Any mistakes you'll find in this fic is all on me, because really, no matter how many times I rechecked this thing, there's always more and more mistakes popping up. 
> 
> ATTENTION!  
> People have been mentioning about this so please pay attention. This fic is not the one with happy ending. It doesn't have a happy ending. So if it's not to your liking, please turn back now.  
> Thank you very much, and for the one who wants to keep on reading, please enjoy

Thor sighed; the rain outside clearly showed the world exactly what the god of thunder felt deep inside. He sat alone in the living room and watched the storm roar wildly, sweeping everything that hampered its way. He felt sorry for those who had no chance to hide themselves from the unforgiving weather, but he couldn’t find a way to turn things around into something better. He felt sad and the sky just mourned with him, it was as simple as that.

The god leaned back onto the couch and tilted his head back, closing his eyes in the process. The sound of the water pelting down the window somehow calmed him down; it made him feel better even just the slightest bit.

Maybe he really didn’t handle his break up with Jane Foster that good, after all.

He could still hear her voice, the slight tremble between her words as she waved him goodbye. To tell the truth, Thor was amazed by how long Jane managed to convince herself that their relationship would survive. She kept waiting patiently but reality at last stoke her hard enough to make her realize that everything had to come to an end. And so they met, for the last time, and she decided that she had had enough.

They were different. Both Thor and his dear Jane did their best to deny the painful truth and fight for a brighter future for both of them. But they lost. Thor was the prince of Asgard, a God, a man out of this world. His duty kept him busy and forced him to leave earth from time to time. And when he at last found the time to stay in earth, the Avengers business tied him down and didn’t let go until the next call from Asgard pulled him back.

Aside from the constant danger of being in a relationship with a God and a part-time superhero, it was clear that love alone wouldn’t keep them together.

If only he could get a second chance-… No.

Thor released a mouthful of breath and covered both of his eyes with his arm. What was he thinking? If he really did get a second chance then what? Nothing would change. He was an Asgardian and Avengers, the titles he would bring into the afterlife. Making Jane to suffer in their never growing relationship was just too cruel and selfish. He had to learn to let go, giving her a chance to find someone better than him. Much, much better.

A familiar hissing sound caught Thor off guard and made him flinch a bit. He drew his hand back and straightened his position, glancing around toward the elevator and seeing the man he knew so well.

“Captain,” he nodded respectfully.

Steve Rogers, a.k.a Captain America, replied him with a humble smile and walked to the counter. “Hi, Thor,” he sent a friendly salute and proceeded to open one cabinet after another, looking for something Thor had no idea what. “Umm… Where did Tony keep it again?” he muttered under his breath.

It wasn’t Thor’s fault that his ears were sharper than most and he heard the small sound Steve produced. “Captain, if I may ask, what is it that you are looking for?”

Steve laughed and shook his head. “You can call me Steve, you know? Being called ‘Captain’ all the time feels kinda weird, like a constant tease you can’t shrug off,” he turned around and tapped his chin with his fingers. “I’m looking for some salt and crackers.”

Thor stood up and approached Steve. He extended his hand, his height giving him the advantage to reach further, and opened the cabinet that hung right next to the captain. “Here it is, Steven,” he took a box filled with the baked goods and let Steve reached for the salt.

“Thanks,” Steve chuckled and took the crackers Thor handed to him, grabbing the thing firmly after a second try.

“It is no trouble,” Thor hummed. His face contorted into a frown as he noticed how tired Steve looked. The bag under his eyes was such a huge contrast against his pale skin, which looked a bit paler than usual if it was possible. It was clear the man was having trouble sleeping, for lack of a better word, but it had never given him such effect before. “I’m very sorry for prying, but are you feeling okay, my friend?”

It was expected that Steve would answer with a smile, but the wince that followed was out of Thor’s expectation. Thor understood the hard time Steve was having with the sudden event that happened not long ago. Around a month ago, a long lost friend of Steve whose identity was known as the Winter Soldier came into the tower and gave the whole team a mild heart attack.

Thor remembered the look at Steve’s face when the man said his name, gritting his teeth between his bitter smile as if it took a lot of him to spell the said word. Bruce said the Winter Soldier, or James Buchanan ‘Bucky’ Barnes as Steve had reminded him, was trying to catch up with the time he lost and did his best to regain his memories. He had been staying in the tower ever since and Steve was on constant duty to look after him; a job the man had never complained for and full heartedly took upon himself.

But no matter how Thor saw it, it was not a one-man job. Steve was having his hands full with S.H.I.E.L.D and Avenger’s duty already, the burden he had to carry by adding the responsibility to take care of his friend was just too much. The serum prevented him from getting sick and preserved his perfect build but the exhaustion was painfully vivid for the eyes to see.

“Oh? Yeah, I’m fine-… Just a bit tired, I guess,” Steve shrugged, the smile never leaving his face. “Bucky had been having nightmares and he tends to be restless afterward. But he was getting better, really,” he grimaced, hating how he sounded like he was trying to convince Thor. For what? “I gotta go, Bucky is waiting for me…”

Steve closed the cabinet door and swung his legs toward the elevator. Thor couldn’t help but notice the funny way Steve walked, the awkward stiffness whenever his body was moving, but he didn’t think it was his place to question things right now. Perhaps next time when the moment was right.

“It’s nice to see you, Captain.”

“It’s Steve,” the captain reminded him once more before the elevator door slid close and separated both of them. The silence once again fell upon the room and Thor went back to the couch, relishing the chance to mourn for his relationship a bit longer.

 

0oOo0

 

While the Avengers was always on-call ready, some of them were not really morning persons. Tony would often lock himself inside his lab doing only God knew what (no, Thor didn’t know) and only stumbled back into his room to catch some sleep in the morning/afternoon. Clint sometimes decided to sleep though the morning and woke up only when the sun started to descend. Bruce was always up on time but he often stayed inside his room until late morning before coming up for late breakfast.

Needless to say, Natasha, Thor and Steve were the one who usually tore the communal floor apart early in the morning before heading out to the gym or their morning run. But lately, it was just Natasha and Thor. Steve came down even later than Tony most of this past few days, and Tony himself had never come out of his room before eleven. It was only a matter of time before Sam noticed the breaking routine pattern and barged into the tower seeking answers.

And the day was today.

“Okay, is he still alive?” was the first question that came out of the Falcon’s mouth. Clint’s mouth was wide open as the spoon full of cereals was still hanging right in front of it. “Tell me the truth, I can handle it.”

“The fuck, Birdman?” Clint dropped his spoon and rested his elbow on the counter. “You’ve successfully ruined my breakfast, thank you,” he grumbled. “It takes you this long to make a move? Really?”

“I’m a patient guy, gimme a break. So, where is he? Don’t tell me he’s really dead, I don’t think I can handle that.”

“He’s alive but not really kicking, I guess,” Tony yawned out loud before he sipped his coffee, stretching his numb muscles and going to only God knew where. Probably back to his lab, working on another project. Someone had to notify Pepper about this.

Sam sighed in relief. “Thank God,” he wiped an invisible sweat off of his forehead and jumped into the empty stool next to Clint who pushed his cereal bowl toward him. His eyes were widened when he caught a glimpse of golden strands but the spark inside died a bit when he saw the owner. “Oh, hey there, Big Guy.”

Thor had just come back from the gym, whole body drenched in sweat, when he noticed Sam in the kitchen. “Ah, Son of Wilson! What a pleasant surprise!” he opened his arms wide for a hug but Sam just laughed awkwardly and shifted farther. “For what do we owe such pleasure of your visit?”

The Falcon opened his mouth right on time when the one he had been waiting for at last showed himself. “Steve!” he chirped cheerfully but somehow he got a feeling that Steve didn’t share the same joy as him. Maybe it was just he overthinking things. “Yo, man. It’s been a while.”

It was as if Steve just noticed Sam’s presence, his grim face brightened even just a bit. “Sam!” he grinned and limped slightly to approach Sam and engulfed him in his famous teddy bear hug. “It’s good to see you,” he happily pulled himself back to study Sam’s figure from acceptable distance.

“Same here, man,” Sam tapped Steve’s shoulder and automatically yanked his hand back when Steve gritted his teeth in pain. “Whoa, you okay?” the concern was visible with naked eyes. “You were limping just now too-…”

“Nah, I’m fine,” Steve replied a little forcefully and just a little bit too fast for Sam’s liking. But as he drew back there was nothing Sam could do but nod. “I just fell and kind of twisted my shoulder, nothing serious…”

“Steven, have you seen dr. Banner and have him look at your injured shoulder?” Thor joined the conversation with full concern but Steve just ignored his question, which was quite rare if Thor might say.

Steve kept moving to the living room and opened the drawer, paying no mind about the way Clint, Sam and Thor watching him without blinking. He grabbed a few roll of toilet papers, muttering about having to buy more supplies later, and closed the drawer in one swift movement. He didn’t realize that Clint’s eyes were squinted as they focused on a certain area of his body while he moved around.

Clint debated with himself whether it was a good thing to do but then decided he might as well strike while the iron was still hot. “Hey, Cap,” Clint called and to say that Steve was startled because of it was an underestimation. He was practically about to jump out of his skin. “You fell real hard, huh?”

“What…?”

“Have you put ice on it?” he asked, motioning his hands around to point at his own back and waist.

“Oh-…? Oh yeah, I have put ice on it but I guess the bruise was still quite visible, huh?” Steve laughed as he tugged the back of his sweater down further as if trying to hide a shameful part of his body. “I have to go now. I’ll see you later, Sam,” he put the best grin he managed to form and stormed out of the room with toilet papers in hand.

“… What was that…?” Sam blinked rapidly as if he was still trying to process the whole thing that had happened just now.

“It is unfortunate but I too have no idea,” Thor kept staring at the elevator door as if someone might come out of it anytime soon and explained everything to him word by word. “Brother Clint?” he turned toward Clint whose face was hard and somehow unreadable.

Clint blocked the outside world as his brain reeled fast inside his skull. He knew those kinds of marks, the bruises that stained the unblemished skin of their captain. It was either Steve was into hardcore BDSM with an inexperienced idiot or he really was being-… No, no way. But then again, either way, who could actually do that? With the serum he had, it would took more than just a simple beating to leave such a mark on him that stayed long enough for other to notice. The scar had to either be recent or deep and serious enough that the even the serum had a trouble to handle.

Maybe he was reading too much into it. Maybe he really did fell and bruised himself here and there-…

“Hello, earth to Clint??” a hand waved around in his range of vision and snapped him back to the land of the living. Sam watched him with this weird look that made him smile unintentionally.

“What’s it?” he raised an eyebrow as if it was Sam who had been staring into empty space for three minutes without blinking.

“Man, you gotta teach me how to sleep with my eyes open,” Sam shrugged with a sigh and knocked at Clint’s head without real intention to make it hurt. “Just try to watch your surrounding next time. You might wake up with a penis being drawn on your forehead with permanent marker.”

“Just try and you can kiss your pinky goodbye, Wil-… Thor, where’re you going?” Clint saw Thor moved real fast with a certain degree of coordination form the corner of his eyes. The Norse god pressed the up button and slipped into the elevator shaft the moment the door opened.

“I will be back in no time, brothers. But please, don’t wait for me,” he asked before the door blocked him out from the other.

He rode up and stopped when he reached the floor that belonged to his captain. Some part of him reminded him that it was only polite of him to announce his presence before barging into the living space of another. But the situation was somehow dire that he forgot about such custom. He just hoped Steve would forgive him, though he knew that Steve Rogers was not exactly a man to get angry over such a trivial matter.

And so, he walked out of the cramped moving box and stood in front of a door that would lead him into Steve’s personal chamber. He had never came here before, seeing that there was no need for him to quench his curiosity about the state of his companion’s room. He proceeded to knock the door and called for Steve but there was no immediate answer. He decided to give a second try when rushed steps from the inside somehow took him by surprise.

The door opened big enough for Steve to take a peek outside. He saw Thor as a look of relief washed over his face. “Thor, it’s you,” he breathed but there was a hint of discomfort gnawing at him by the way he kept fidgeting. “Is there something you need?”

That was when it hit Thor. He hadn’t thought about what answer he would provide Steve with when the man questioned his reasons. He just got a feeling that coming here was the right thing to do, and so he did. “I…” he started but ran out of word soon after, urging Steve to sent his eyebrows up in wonder. “I just want to make sure you’re okay…”

“Thor…” Steve sighed and ran his fingers through his hair wearily. “I’m really, really fine. There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m just a little tired, that’s all,” he ended his explanation with a smile as if daring Thor to just pry and see what happen.

“Steve, who’s it?” another voice came out from the living chamber and came closer toward the door. A man appeared right next to Steve side as he pushed the door open even wider. Thor had a feeling that he had seen him somewhere but couldn’t actually put where. “You okay? Is he bugging you or something?” the guy asked, frowning at Thor like a beast trying to scare its opponent away.

“Oh, right,” Steve smiled and gestured at Thor with his open hand. “Bucky, this is Thor, the god from Asgard I kept telling you about. He’s a good friend of mine. Thor, this is Bucky Barnes,” Steve introduced the man and Thor got it now. This was the Winter Soldier, Steve’s long lost best friend.

“It’s nice to finally meet you in person, Son of Barnes,” Thor was beaming as he offered his hand for a handshake, which Bucky took almost hesitantly but the grip was nonetheless strong and firm.

Bucky treated him with nothing but a silent welcome as he held Thor’s hand for a couple second. His eyes were calculating, as if they were looking for just a hint of weakness to exploit. “Yeah, it’s mutual,” he then muttered after a short persistent silence. He then turned his attention back to Steve as if Thor was nothing but a passing wind. “My turn to do the dishes. You go get some rest and put a compress on those bruises, okay?”

Steve pushed Bucky around and shoved him playfully into the living room of his chamber. “I get it. Now go, don’t let me keep you waiting,” he snorted and ruffled Bucky’s hair in the process. Bucky swatted his hand but the happiness his eyes held never dimmed.

“Yeah, yeah… I swear punk, you’ll be the death of me,” he grinned as he placed a quick peck on Steve’s cheek. Thor didn’t know how to take it from there. Was it a sign of powerful bond of a friendship or a certain stage of romance? Either way, it had to be a good thing for both of the men to radiate such a happy atmosphere. “Well, if a certain someone who managed to walk out of a battle unscratched could just spare a glance toward a friend who actually required help and lend a hand, I might live just a little longer…”

Poison was dripping from the tip of Bucky’s tongue as he sent one last somehow hateful glare at Thor before leaving. Thor was quite taken aback while Steve immediately ushered Bucky to just continue his journey to the kitchen. “Please forgive him, he’s been on edge these days…”

Thor knew exactly why. “Because of those bruises?” he indicated the marks that now was visible with the way those sleeves riding up Steve’s extended arms. His wrist was painted in fingers shaped red bruises that Steve tried to hide when he saw Thor observing it. “I’m sorry for being rude by asking such question, but pray tell, where did you get such a wound?”

Steve gapped but no voice came out from his opened mouth. He tried to form one full sentence to say but he failed miserably. “It’s… Bucky thought I got them from a battle…” which was impossible since Steve had been holing himself inside his living quarter looking after a certain ex-assassin. But it did explain the intense vexation that Bucky emitted toward Thor if he compared the god’s state to Steve’s who he assumed just walking out of the same battlefield.

“There’s a reason you hide them,” Thor stated without beating around the bush. “Why don’t you tell the truth?”

“It’s not that simple…” Steve chewed on his lower lip and twisted the stay string of his sweater around his finger. While the tower was equipped with lots of fully functional air conditioners, the weather in mid summer was considerably hot. He must be sweating like mad behind that thick fabric, Thor felt sorry for him. “I don’t want to make him worried. Bucky is struggling with his own problem right now and I can’t… I can’t burden him with mine.”

“But you do know that he is worried even worse with you hiding the truth from him, do you not?”

“I do. But this is for the best-…”

Thor swung his hands forward and captured Steve’s, pulling them toward him and gave them a firm but gentle grip. He felt a slight tremor ran through Steve’s limb but they subsided real fast. “I’m here and I’m willing to listen, if that could just lessen the pain you’re withholding, my friend,” he said truthfully.

Steve smiled and Thor’s heart melted. He didn’t retract his hands but instead rested his head on top of Thor’s knuckle, seeking comfort. “I know, and for that I’m thankful,” he then straightened his body and Thor saw the familiar strength burned hot inside Steve’s clear blue eyes. It appeared Steve was a tough nut to crack and refused to spill even just a small drop of his secret. He respected the man’s wish but he was worried nevertheless. “Oh, I’ve been wanting to ask about this but… How are you doing right now, Thor?”

The question confused Thor at first but then he knew what Steve was talking about. He was mentioning about how Thor took the whole breaking up thing. Weeks had passed and he felt much better. The scar was still there and the throb sometimes distracted him, but he was doing just fine. So Steve was concerned about him, even with all that was going on around him. It made Thor’s respect for the man rocketed and hit a whole new level.

“I’m doing okay, thank you for your concern. I appreciate it,” Thor bowed his head in a thankful manner.

“That’s great,” Steve laughed and twisted his body a bit to take a quick look inside. “Well… It’s nice to talk to you, Thor, but I gotta get back.”

“Right,” Thor nodded; releasing Steve’s warm hands and somehow missed the contact the moment they were separated. “Thank you for your time, Captain. I’ll be seeing you, then-…”

“Ah, Thor?” Steve stopped him before he left and entered the elevator. “About everything we’ve talked about… Could you keep it a secret? Just the two of us?”

Thor considered the perks and advantages of spilling everything to the rest of the Avengers, hoping for a hint and a quick way out to help Steve. “I understand,” he said, and the relief that flooded Steve soon after the words came up convinced him and keeping his mouth shut was the right decision. For now. “It’s our secret,” and Steve closed the door with a smile.

 

0oOo0

 

The battle today was a total mess. While the enemies themselves were not unpredictable, their numbers gave them quite a lot of trouble. Hundreds of Murder-Bots had been set loose on Manhattan this afternoon from various locations. The team had to split up and that worsen up their outnumbered situations. In the end, after being drenched in both sweats and their own blood, it was revealed that the catastrophe was nothing but a distraction. The mastermind was busying himself robbing the Bank of Manhattan dry while the Avengers fought to keep the city safe.

Thank God they found out about the real plot behind the sick play and confronted the real villain before he could leave the bank with millions dollar at hand. That was too close. And so the day ended with the Avengers, minus Captain America who took a day off as he often did in these past few months, limped their way back to the tower.

Tony’s armor was full of scratch that needed to be repainted, not to forget the dent that made it hard for him to even walk normally. Bruce came out almost unharmed from the fight since the Hulk mostly took the worst for himself. But of course the exhaustion almost made him topple and stay down every now and then. Natasha twisted her wrist and Clint successfully rendered his ankle useless for the moment. He had to lean to the Black Widow as he hopped around with his arms necklaced around her shoulder.

Thor suffered minor wounds and cuts, nothing that couldn’t be healed by time. As the other stumbled into the communal floor to take a breath from all the craziness that took place half a day ago, Thor excused himself to go and grab some supplies from the medical bay for his friends. Bruce offered to come with him but he forced him to stay. The poor lad was ready to faint with just a snap of a finger and they needed him to make sure Natasha’s wrist and Clint’s ankle could be used normally again anytime soon.

When Thor reached the medical bay, it was dark but he could make out a shadow moving around inside. He flipped the switch and rained the bright light upon the room.

“Steven?” his voice showed his surprise.

“Oh, Thor,” Steve awkwardly used his torso to hide both of his palms that clearly was holding something. “Welcome back. Where’s the other?” if he was nervous, Thor didn’t notice it because he was too busy exploring numerous spots that wasn’t supposed to take residence all over Steve’s face.

“What happened?” Thor stormed toward the younger man and took hold of his chin, forcing him to look up and stay motionless. The corner of Steve’s mouth was red and swollen while his lips were busted. There was also an open cut on his forehead that Thor remembered didn’t exist when he left the tower this noon. The bleeding must have slowed down but the blood was still gushing out. “Who did this to you, Steven?” the rage made his voice shook.

It wasn’t his intention to scare Steve but he couldn’t just shove his anger down without some explanation. “I fell,” the lad replied and he ended it at that.

That wouldn’t do. Thor might be naïve at times but he wasn’t stupid. He had seen various kinds of scar and damage; he knew lies when he saw them. “Tell me the truth,” he hated how his voice came out as vicious growl.

Steve swallowed hard. “That’s the truth.”

How could he keep up the lie even when Thor seriously asked him to drop the act? The fact made Thor’s blood boiled in his vein. “I’m gonna tell the other about this,” he yanked his had away from Steve as if the touch burned and made a move to retreat when Steve’s sweaty palm made him halt.

“Wait!” he shouted. Thor heard something fell and saw a bandage rolled down the floor. So that was what Steve was holding all this time. “Please wait!” he begged. The panic reached his eyes and Thor saw how the mighty Captain America turned into a frightened child. “Don’t tell them. Please…”

“Why, Captain?”

“I-… Please. Don’t let them know… Don't let Bucky know…” he kept begging and slowly slid onto the floor. Thor caught him and helped him to stand but it was futile. “Please, Thor…”

This was madness!

He should’ve just pushed Steve aside and knocked some sense into his skull. Hell, the right thing to do right now was to haul Steve up and bring him to the rest of the Avengers for some questioning. But Thor couldn’t do it. Seeing how the Captain fought hard not to cry and knelt on his feet made his heart bleed. He hated this. Instead of following his instinct, Thor lowered his own body and held Steve close, trying to calm the man down before guiding him to sit on one of the empty beds.

Thor then bent over and took the bandage Steve dropped just now and put it on the table next to the bed. He had seen how Bruce tended his teammates numerous times and he remembered every step of it. He cleaned the cuts with alcohol, shushing gently when Steve hissed in pain, and bandaged it carefully. He then put a compress over each bruise, doing everything in complete silence.

“I’m sorry…” Steve mumbled softly, Thor almost missed it due to the low volume.

“Steven, I’m not mad. At least not anymore,” he gritted his teeth. He was feeling more frustrated than angry now; at least Steve had to know that. “But I don’t understand… This is not right.”

“I know.”

“Then why?”

“Thor…” Steve locked his gaze with Thor and the god for a moment was drowned inside the sorrow that flooded inside those blue orbs. “This is not that simple. I just-…” he winched, didn’t know how to say this without revealing too much.

“I’m I not trustworthy…?”

“No-…! I mean-… I trust you, I really do. But it is not you; it’s me. And I’m-… I’m sorry.”

Steve hopped down the bed and ran out of the room, leaving Thor alone to watch his retreating figure.

The next time Thor saw Steve, the bruises were barely visible. Steve must have used make up to hide the remaining trace of those damages; Natasha taught him how. But in Thor’s eyes, they were there. They mocked him because he couldn’t find out where they came from. They mocked him because Steve didn’t bother to tell him the truth. Because Steve didn’t trust him enough to tell him the truth.

And it _hurt_.

 

0oOo0

 

The whole team was having a movie marathon in the communal floor, the whole team except Steve. Tony had taken it upon himself to come up to Steve’s floor and drag him down for team bonding. But as they had predicted, he politely refused. He rarely left his floor other than to grab foods and other daily needs for him and Bucky these past few weeks. It was as if they were trapped inside an endless honeymoon, a freaking tiring and sex-less one at that.

“Cap will tire himself to death at this point,” Clint munched the popcorn and let some half-chewed ones fell out of his open mouth as he spoke.

Natasha glared at him and slapped his shoulder in disgust when a couple spit drenched parts landed on her lap. “I’ll get him down,” she huffed and pushed herself up when Bruce made her halt mid-step.

“Let him be,” the doctor said, urging Natasha to sit down. “He’ll come down when he’s ready,” he fixed his glasses and flicked his eyes toward the elevator as the door opened and the man of the topic came out of the shaft. “There he is.”

“Hey, Popsicle,” Tony grinned; waving the remote around after pausing the movie they were watching. “You wanna join us?” it was never too late to ask, but there was no way they would rewind the movie so Steve better sat down and enjoy the remaining part of the ride.

Steve paraded one of his famous humble smiles and strode across the kitchen to grab a few things. “No, I’m just here to get something… We still have orange juice, right?” he asked more to himself than those who might gave him some answers.

Tony frowned and let out a long groan. “C’mon, Cap. Don’t be such a spoilsport and come here,” he puffed his cheek like a brat and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I’ll pout and scream if you don’t,” the scary part was that he might actually did that. Bruce unconsciously slid further away from Tony to the other end of the couch he and Tony was taking residence on.

The threat didn’t seem to shake Steve even just a bit. He just chuckled and took everything as a childish joke Tony spew out daily to tease him. “You guys just have fun, okay?” he opened the refrigerator and took out the juice cartoon and grabbed another light meals to take with him. He was already struggling to stay straight even before he added the extra weight in his arms.

Thor stole the start by taking the first step and stood by Steve’s side in no time. “Steven, let me lend you a hand,” he offered. Thor was quite shocked and feeling a bit hurt when Steve flinched the moment their skin made contact with each other. The look of horror on Steve’s face lasted no more than one second before being replaced by his radiant smile.

“Thanks, Thor,” he grinned and let Thor took some of his belongings. Thor held the things in his possession in one arms while Steve was having a hard time with the smaller amount in both hands. “Could you help me take it to my floor?”

“Steve, are you okay?” Bruce was concerned by how weary Steve looked now. He stood up and made a move to approach the blond but Steve stood up straighter and maintained his stiff posture.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about it,” he was about to walk when his legs buckled under him.

It was a good thing that Thor was right next to him. The god laced his free hand around Steve’s middle and held him from falling face first to the floor. The sound of spilled liquid and shattered jars filled the space moments before rushed footsteps followed soon after. Tony and Bruce closed the gap and both looked almost similarly horrified. Steve would be laughing if not for the fact that it was he who got both of them so damn shaken.

“You’re not okay, Captain,” Thor’s frown was hard enough to break rocks. Steve twitched in his hold and started tugging Thor’s hand away from his waist.

“I’m fine-…” he showed a sign of panic and Thor had to release him before it turned into a full blown panic attack. “Sorry, I just lost my balance-…”

“Lost your balance, my ass,” Clint growled. “We all saw it, Cap. Your feet buckled and that’s it.”

“I was just tired and I-…”

Bruce was the only one who handled everything with patience and calmness even though he too was screaming inside. “Steve,” he started, blinked at Clint to ask him to keep quite for just a second. “You’re not okay. Please, come with me… We can talk in the infirmary and make sure everything is–… “

Steve pushed Bruce’s approaching arms away with a stuttered weak slap. “I’m okay-…!” he unintentionally screamed and bit his lip when he realized how loud his sound was. “I’m okay…” he repeated, now in lower volume.

“Steven…” Thor made a grab at Steve’s shoulder and spun him around, ignoring the way Steve tensed under his touch.

“Steve?”

The whole occupants inside the room turned around and saw a guy they had never expect to step into the floor appeared from the elevator. James Buchanan Barnes walked in like a lost kid, wearing a long sleeved sweater that obviously belonged to Steve judging from the way it hung a bit loosely on the said man’s frame. His flesh and blood arm gripped the metal one nervously and his eyes explored the room until they rested on the team.

“Buck…?” Steve gapped disbelievingly.

A sudden change of emotion took hold of Bucky and his nervous stature disappeared in a blink of an eye. Everyone thought as he rushed closer that Thor would get one hell of a beating for laying a hand on Steve when the man was clearly showing his displeasure. But then Bucky yanked Steve toward himself and half dragged Steve toward the elevator in silence.

The sound of the elevator door slid shut was the one that broke the silence, but not the tension.

 

0oOo0

 

It was all thanks to the constant nagging inside his heart that he was now standing nervously outside Steve’s living quarter. He knew that Bucky and Steve had a special relationship, it was clear even for him. He didn’t think a man would ever hurt someone he loved, it was unquestionable but somehow he couldn’t shake the fear that somehow claimed him the moment he saw Bucky dragged Steve back into their floor.

“Steven?” he started, knocking the door hesitantly a couple times. There was no answer but he couldn't give up on the first try. “Steven, it’s me, Thor. May I come in?” he tried again, but for the second time there was no answer.

Perhaps the room was as empty as it seemed. Thor combed the stray chunk of hair back with his fingers in a slight frustration. He was pretty sure both Steve and Bucky was going straight into their shared floor, JARVIS informed him and he wouldn’t lie, but there was no sign of them. He was thinking about going back to the communal floor to join the other when he heard a whimper coming from behind the tightly closed door.

Thor stopped dead on his track and quickly pressed his ear closer toward the cold wooden surface. A sudden rush of warmth hit his face as he somehow recognized the familiar voice that attacked his hearing. There was no mistake; it was Steve’s. Thor immediately pulled himself back and did his best to regain his composure. Eavesdropping the sacred moment of copulation between two lovers was quite rude and he had no intention of doing such thing.

He was just about to leave when the whimper got louder and this time accompanied by a plea that sent a shiver down Thor’s spine. “Bucky, please-… Please, stop-… I’m sorry…” what? Thor’s blood ran cold as he heard the following reply Bucky provided.

“You son of a bitch-…! How dare you do this to me…?!” a muffled cry wrung Thor’s heart dry after a sound of flesh meeting flesh resonated across the empty hall. “You flirt with him?! You wanna leave me, Steve?!”

“I don’t-…!”

“Shut up!!”

Another cry ran out but then every sound faded, being replaced by a terrible chocked sound and gasp. Thor wasted no time and kicked the door open, silently sending countless apologies to Tony for destroying his property. He barged into the room and traced the source of the sound that led him toward the bedroom. He tried to twist the knob but the room was on total lock down. There was no other choice.

The god knew he and Tony were going to have a long talk about this but right now he couldn’t care less about it. He landed a powerful kick on the bedroom door and felt the whole plate shaking, but the door had yet to give in. As expected of Tony Stark. It was quite shocking for him to have the front door all ruined on the very first strike, actually. And so he tried again, taking a couple step back before running straight and using his whole weight to topple the door off of its hinges.

What he found inside stole his breath away, not in a good way.

Steve was sprawled on the bed naked with Bucky pistoning into him between his parted legs. He sent a weak glance toward Thor while his hands clawed at his partner’s metal arm that was locked tight around his bruised throat. Thor saw the fear and embarrassment that were flooded inside Steve’s eyes but he shrugged it off and jumped into his feet, launching himself toward the bed and pulling Bucky away. Or at least tried to.

Bucky growled at Thor and pushed him aside with his free hand. It was obvious that Thor was having the advantage in the term of strength, not to mention in the state Bucky was in at the moment. He slapped Bucky’s flesh arm away and once again gripped the metal one real hard, hearing it creak horribly and prying it away from Steve. He succeeded right when Steve’s eyes started to roll back from having his airway blocked long enough.

“Get off me!” Bucky roared and slammed his fist hard on Thor’s cheek. “Get the hell away from me!!” he repeated again and again until Thor caught both of his arms and threw him hard across the room.

“Steven,” he breathed, rushing to cut the gap between him and Steve in just a few strides.

Steve was watching him with wary eyes, tears running down his face like rivers. He was shaking, both of his hands trembling as he tried to hold his throbbing neck. The fingers shape was marring the pale skin and Thor felt bad for staring. He sent his eyes downward and immediately regretted it.

He was not prepared to saw the numerous blue and red bruises that painted his captain’s whole torso. There were also countless bleeding bite marks that were too gruesome to be called hickeys. Steve’s hips were decorated by finger marks, proofing exactly how hard the owner had gripped the tender flesh there. The low volume curse flew out like a waterfall, as he observed further down unintentionally.

While Steve’s thighs were not a pretty sight with all the new and half healed scars, it was faring better than his… private parts. The area around his puckered hole was drenched in blood and white substance Thor knew better than to pronounce. The room was smelled like sex and torture and Thor knew one of his worst nightmares had come true. This was insane.

“No!” Steve screamed and Thor turned around right on time to see Bucky lunged at him with full intent to kill. “Bucky, Stop!”

Everything happened so fast. First, Thor was having the upper hand and slammed Bucky down. But with all the training he got from his previous job, it was quite easy for Bucky to reroll the dice and traded place with Thor in no time. He twisted around and yanking Thor’s hair, using the god’s momentary distraction to pull him down and lock his legs around Thor’s neck.

“Bucky! Bucky, stop it!” Steve struggled to get down from the bed, every movement felt like a merciless punishment for his battered body. “Let him go, Buck!” the blond Midgardian begged and tugged at Bucky’s bare foot.

“I swear in the name of motherfucking Jedi, if you guys mess with me I’ll–… JESUS!!” Tony suddenly appeared from the entrance with the other. Steve faltered for a moment but soon regained his resolution to release Thor from Bucky’s unforgiving hold. “The fuck-…?!”

“Help me-…!”

They didn’t need another command to move accordingly. Natasha and Clint threw themselves into the heated fight and worked together. Tony knew he would be no help without his armor and going down to his lab would take too much time. He settled with running toward Steve to pull him back since the man would be nothing but an obstacle with the condition he was in. Bruce once in a while took a peek inside but he mostly kept himself standing outside in fear that the other guy might come out by _accident_ if _provoked_.

Bucky was trashing around when Natasha and Clint at last managed to free Thor. They both pushed Bucky into the corner and kicked him hard until he stayed down. It was a barbaric tactic but at least it worked. They would both accept any protest Steve might rain upon them or the grudge Bucky might have for them later, no problem.

“You okay?” Clint panted, nodding his head back at Thor without actually turning his head sideway.

“Yes, thank you for your assistance, Son of Barton,” Thor coughed slightly and wiped the blood that dripped from the corner of his mouth. “Steven, are you alright?”

“I-…” Steve staggering a bit in Tony’s protective embrace and carefully lowered himself to sit on the ruined bed. He then noticed the lack of clothing around his skin and shyly rolled the dirty sheet around to cover up. “I guess… yeah,” he croaked hoarsely but at least he was talking.

“The fuck happened, Cap?” Tony questioned, drawing numerous curious eyes toward him and Steve demanding answers. “You fought with Robocop or something?” he obviously meant Bucky.

“Steve…”

The whole team stiffened and went back into guard stance. Clint and Natasha jumped back and formed some sort of body blockade around Steve with Thor standing between them, keeping Steve out of Bucky’s view with his big bulk. Tony kept lacing his hands around Steve as the last resort for the lad’s protection, inside praying for it not to go down that roaf. He wanted to live longer and maybe build a family with Pepper, nothing normal but at least he could dream.

It wasn’t a growl but it came from Bucky. That was enough to send the team on edge. The ex-assassin pushed himself up into sitting position and whimpered, folding himself into a ball as if trying to protect himself. There was no trace of the previous anger and rage, which was really weird. Despite the sudden change, nobody dared to make the first move and drop their guards in case everything was just a trick. But Steve did. He moved.

“Bucky…” he whispered softly and squirmed only for Tony to tighten his embrace. Steve lifted his hand and laid it on Tony’s arm, asking him to stay down and standing up wobbly. “Buck…”

“Steve?” Bucky spontaneously lifted his head up and searched the whole room with wild and horrified eyes. He found Steve and broke down almost instantly. “Stevie-…”

“Steven,” Thor gritted his teeth and spread his arms to prevent either Steve or Bucky from moving any closer to each other. But Steve just stifled a wince, which was supposed to be a smile, and tore down Thor’s temporary barricade by pushing forward.

It was ridiculously sad to see how a man who had been abused not ten minutes ago willed himself to stay strong for his abuser who was now calling his name desperately. Steve dragged his tired body closer to Bucky and knelt in front of him ever so careful. “Bucky, it’s okay… I’m here,” he drew his trembling hand up, willing it to stay still just for a second to no avail, and softly touched Bucky’s hair.

Bucky wasted no time and wrapped his arms around Steve. His sobs and hitched breaths were muffled by Steve’s chest. Steve hushed him gently and caressed his hair like a loving mother. Bucky didn’t let him go for a long time, rocking his body and leaned deeper into the touch with no intention of inching away.

“Guys…” Steve at last spoke, fingers never leaving the strand of Bucky’s black mane. “I’m sorry, but… could you leave us alone?”

“What?” Tony was dumbfounded at such request. “You want us to what, Johnny Bravo?! He’s an unstable motherfucker, for fuck’s sake! I’d say we lock him up-…!”

“Please?” it was as if Steve never heard the sarcasm in Tony’s question. He didn’t tear his eyes away from Bucky’s hunched form and kept holding the man ever so softly.

“Steven, I don’t think it was a good idea after-…” Thor broke the formation by taking a step forward but Steve stopped him by raising a hand. He glanced toward Thor and shook his head, asking the god to stay at a certain distance and give them the space they needed.

“Please…”

Natasha was the one who first slipped away from the tense room, leaving the men to make up their mind. She went as silent as she came and Steve appreciated it. Clint sighed and sent a look to Steve that asked him to be careful. Steve only nodded and he went out with a heavy heart. Tony was obviously struggling between staying and respecting his friend’s request. In the end, he knew Steve good enough not to think that the guy had a suicide with and furiously strolled out, not before ordering JARVIS to keep an eye on them.

Thor was the last man remained. He was angry, boiled deep inside his core. How could they actually leave Steve with the guy who pummeled him like a punching bag? Thor was there when Steve was almost beaten to death and rap-… no, he couldn’t say it. But he knew he had to make sure of his precious companion’s safety.

If Steve was disturbed by his presence, he didn’t say it. He just stroked Bucky’s head and murmured softly next to his ear. The blood that rolled down from his nose and forehead stained the carpet and started to crust, but none of them seemed to care.

“Bucky, everything’s okay…” Steve whispered.

“They’re close, Steve… They’re close, and they’ll come here to get me back. I can’t go back, Steve… I can’t-…” Bucky repeated the words over and over like a broken recorder and Thor started to feel sorry for him. He was truly shaken and it was no act.

“Bucky...”

“They’ll hurt me-… They’ll hurt you,” Bucky howled and leaned even closer. Steve gasped as Bucky’s metal arm started to get too tight around him but he held himself back from groaning or pushing Bucky away. Both were not an option.

“They won’t,” he gritted his teeth and breathed through them. Steve took a deep breath, winching as his bruised ribs protested, and continued without missing a beat. “I’m here, Buck… And I’m okay.”

Bucky stopped crying and sat up. His face was a total mess with the tears and snots but Steve gently swiped them all off with his thumb. “Steve…” Bucky gapped, his voice still shaking as he spoke. “You’re bleeding… Who did this?”

Thor saw red and was about to break it right in front of the guy’s face that he was the culprit but Steve beat him to it. “The team had taken care of him,” he lied through his teeth as if he had done it thousands time. “Everything’s okay now,” Steve grinned but his lips trembled as another wave of emotion rode through him.

Bucky was alarmed, forgetting the fact that he too was not far different from Steve right now. “Steve,” he called, trapping Steve’s head between his palm and guided Steve’s face up to get a better look at it. “Why’d you cry? Steve…”

Steve barked out a broken laugh and let tears streamed down his face for the nth time. “I’m okay… It’s okay…” he said, laying his own palms across Bucky’s and left them there. “It’s okay…”

Bucky rested his forehead of Steve’s and closed his eyes, breathing through his mouth silently as Steve enjoying the momentary comfort Bucky shared. “I love you,” the ex-assassin pronounced truthfully and Steve chuckled between the sobs that started to wreck him hard. “I love you, Stevie… I love you.”

“I love you too, Buck,” Steve breathed and pressed a soft kiss on top of Bucky’s split lip, mixing the blood before letting it fall to the ground. “I love you too…”

Unable to watch any longer, Thor left the room.

Days after days passed and no one mentioned the topic ever again. Once in a while Thor would notice the familiar limp when Steve walked. There was time when Clint’s sharp eyes would see new bruises peeking from the Steve’s shirt as he moved. Natasha once or twice caught him red handed in the bathroom trying to bandage new deep cuts his serum couldn’t heal fast enough and helped him clean the wounds before dressing them up. Bruce and Tony stood next to him in the medical bay when the injury Steve sustained was a bit too much until he recovered.

But none of them talked about it.

None of them asked questions they already knew the answer of. Because this was the choice Steve had taken, it was not their place to stick up their nose. It was painful, but that was the truth.

Today, another storm washed upon the land. Thor once again mourned, not for the end of his love story. He was mourning for Steve Roger’s lasting one. Because loving Bucky Barnes at this point was wrong, but Steve couldn’t remember how it was to be right. For Steve and Bucky, this was their love story.

This was love.

And for them, Thor offered his condolence and spared a tear.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> And that's it.  
> At first I wanted to make a Thor/Steve fic but then things happened and here we are... I'm sorry.


End file.
